That’s a boy pony
do you know how I can tell?
‘Cause his name is Fred
That’s a boy pony
do you know how I can tell?
‘Cause his name is Fred
Don’t invite werewolves
they’ll murder the other guests
and pee on the rug
I wish I had hooves
instead of these human feet
I wouldn’t need shoes
ssalg gnikool eht nI
regnagelppod ym ees I
secalp edart lliw eW
For the holidays
I’ve exhumed my grandparents
best Christmas ever!
I’m intolerant
of rail-riding homeless folk
I’m a hobo-phobe
Unicorn semen
is very valuable
it glows in the dark
I just caught our son
fingering the neighbor’s dog
it’s time for “the talk”
Nobody can tell
that my pockets are all full
of dead mice and hair
This has gone too far
I forgot the safety word
my dick is bleeding